Originally, this was going to be about how I always hit a point in my writing where I want to delete my book. Turns out, it was just a symptom of burning out. So, I’m talking about the necessity to take a break sometimes and common thought processes that can interrupt it.
The Writing Stage
First off, hands off the keyboard. Close any Word doc that has “MS” in it, or “query,” or “synopsis” if it’s your own. Friends’ work is allowed.
I hit the point this week of writing where I read over words I had written and tears seared my eyes and my sinuses felt heavy. I couldn’t do it. I felt such…disdain for the work I had put into my own craft. The words, “It’s terrible, it’s terrible,” ran on repeat. It’s in the hands of Elliott (whom I trust greatly) and I battled the urge to message him and berate him into agreeing with me. Just so that I could put it down and away.
Just so that I can move onto the next worst thing.
No one should hate their writing this much. I realized it’d been four years since I took any time from writing. Go on vacation? Have a print of the manuscript to work on it. Boyfriend visiting? Hope he sleeps in to get writing in. Get really nervous if you don’t.
I have a lot of healing to do from really crappy attitudes about productivity and work flow. They include:
- Don’t rest until it’s done (It’s writing, it’s never done until it’s published and even then, it’s a hard maybe)
- If no one else sees merit in your work, there probably isn’t any
- If it isn’t perfect or the best, it probably isn’t worth sharing
- If you don’t get it done by [insert age], it’s never going to happen
- Side note: My parents believe that nothing aside from child-rearing happens after you’ve had a child, which explains a lot about them, but that’s not what this post is about
The Reading Stage
I’m going to get so much reading done. What else is there to do with all the newfound free time? But, more importantly, I’m not going to be reading any craft books. I see tweets going around about process and writing tips and it makes me feel extra guilty about going a break.
Who am I to deserve a break if I’m not good enough yet?
So I’m sticking to books I’ve been meaning to read for fun. And also staying away from comp titles.
I’m hoping this writing break will be a hard reset on my mind so that I can bounce back and finally finish the resolutions I set out for myself in January.
Until next time,