Anxiety is a vicious thing. Something is wrong, but the fear’s cause is unknown. Sometimes, it’s jealousy-fueled nervousness. Sometimes, it’s crippling self-doubt. Most times, it’s nothing. With my prior lack of proper coping mechanisms, my reaction to the onset of nerves was to just work. And work. And work. Until I’d be crying, wondering why I’m not anywhere I want to be, motivation replaced by complete exhaustion.
And then, I sought help.
Thieves Project is the work in which, I think, I saw myself for the first time in my own writing. And parts of the plot simply didn’t work in the way I wanted them to, so I took it upon myself to do a rewrite. Because I’m always at a lack of resources, this is a post for pre-revisions me. Here is the action plan I took which brought a book down from 112,000 words to 89,000 words.
It didn’t feel right to talk about this before I finished my graduate school work. So, here I am in this candid moment to tell you about balancing graduate school and writing. I don’t feel the most qualified, as I don’t have an agent, don’t have anything published, and have trunked a project. But I did write 2+ books in 15 months, so that’s…something.
Part 2 of a 4-part series about my writing process and learnings. The first part was about going on a hiatus. This second part is about my discovery that I am not a “pantser” whatsoever.
Originally, this was going to be about how I always hit a point in my writing where I want to delete my book. Turns out, it was just a symptom of burning out. So, I’m talking about the necessity to take a break sometimes and common thought processes that can interrupt it.
(Photo by Ilham Rahmansyah on Unsplash)